Editing, Reading, Cleaning, and Hay

[orchidcactus]

So, I'm working on editing Sleep Without Dreams. *points down*


Even if I cut, hack, and brutalize it, I'm not sure if it's too sweet to live anywhere other than this journal. (Given the small readership on this journal, it's something I can get away with for now... happy to share my kinks and sap with you folks.)

I've cut/changed most of the twee(*) dialogue, cut out extraneous magic... and am a bit happier.

There are some other issues, of course.

I love both reading and writing fic that relies on pronouns and clips out all propers.  It's slick, when done right. It makes it... sort of impersonal and cold... but contrasted against sex, it pushes my buttons. (Yeah, gonna toot my own horn. Understandings is pretty slick...)

The problem with it is the story ends up with a whole bunch of paragraphs starting with he/she/his/her. It's repetitive and annoying. So, I know I have some more work to do there to break it up a bit more.


Totally going to keep Leandra being a bitch. If you romance Fenris (and I assume Merril) Leandra says (paraphrase), "I've seen the way you and that elf look at each other."

That elf?

If you romance Anders, there's a similar line, but she names Anders, by, you know, his fucking name.

Hm.

Yes, Leandra, you get my hate in fanfiction.

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Reading. A post on dragon_age put me in the mood to find a few DA:O fics I read when I first became interested in the fandom. So, will be doing that soon.

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Hubby will be home tomorrow (yay!) so, cleaning and stuff to be done. If this blog goes dark, that's why.

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Hay. Finally got a load of hay delivered. My hay guy is nice. A little odd, but nice.

I unloaded the gooseneck without stabbing it with the hay fork and without tipping the tractor on its side. I think that deserves cookies.




(*) oh, lord, I actually used the word twee. I'm going to hell

Comments

[alice-the-raven.livejournal.com]

Awww, I liked Leandra, but it would be interesting to see her as a real bitch. :)

[orchidcactus.livejournal.com]

In all honesty, I'm letting my character bias impact the story.

What can I say... sometimes I'm shallow, even when I know the impact it has on my work?

Annnddd... I'm doing it so much, I'm ignoring that she's dead by the time this story takes place. LOL

[tersa.livejournal.com]

The problem with it is the story ends up with a whole bunch of paragraphs starting with he/she/his/her. It's repetitive and annoying. So, I know I have some more work to do there to break it up a bit more.

Even in fic with propers, this is something I struggle against. I know it's probably me being more critical on myself than people are probably noticing, but when I have to go back and deliberately alter the sentence so as not to do that, I feel like it's glaringly obvious and therefore wooden.

"I've seen the way you and that elf look at each other."

That elf?

Hee. :) I can understand your ire, but at the same time...I kind of appreciate the fact that they did make an effort to pay lip service to the elvish racism. I think we, the 21st century players, tend to ignore it, but multi-racial relationships in Thedas would probably be looked at askance by anyone outside the immediate circle of friends.

A post on dragon_age put me in the mood to find a few DA:O fics I read when I first became interested in the fandom.

That post made me roll my eyes at the assumptions being made. I try to be nice to newbies, but...

Hubby will be home tomorrow (yay!) so, cleaning and stuff to be done. If this blog goes dark, that's why.

A good reason to go dark. :D Enjoy your time with him!

(*) oh, lord, I actually used the word twee. I'm going to hell

Sometimes, 'twee' is just the appropriate word for the given situation.

[orchidcactus.livejournal.com]

Even in fic with propers, this is something I struggle against. I know it's probably me being more critical on myself than people are probably noticing, but when I have to go back and deliberately alter the sentence so as not to do that, I feel like it's glaringly obvious and therefore wooden.

I hear you on that. It's all about sentence structure variation or it becomes something like water torture. Drip, drip, drip.


Hee. :) I can understand your ire, but at the same time...I kind of appreciate the fact that they did make an effort to pay lip service to the elvish racism. I think we, the 21st century players, tend to ignore it, but multi-racial relationships in Thedas would probably be looked at askance by anyone outside the immediate circle of friends.

I know what you're saying and the rational, intellectual part of me appreciates this detail of the game. The part of me that is a fangirl and stoopid in love with a character... that's another story.

Seriously, though, I can see her having a knock-down fight with her only remaining child about having mixed children.

I try to be nice to newbies, but...

I know. I never, ever want to discourage someone from writing... but, it's so hard to explain that the level of brilliance to pull off a quality rehash is beyond most mortals.

I linked to my favorites, maybe that will help the potential!author see what we're saying? How it's been done already?

[tersa.livejournal.com]

It's all about sentence structure variation or it becomes something like water torture. Drip, drip, drip.

I always think it reads like a middle school essay, and I'd like to think my writing has matured past that... :)

I know what you're saying and the rational, intellectual part of me appreciates this detail of the game. The part of me that is a fangirl and stoopid in love with a character... that's another story.

:D

Good thing he breaks up with you in Act II and doesn't come back until after she dies. It makes the arguing about it much shorter. :)

Seriously, though, I can see her having a knock-down fight with her only remaining child about having mixed children.

Yesssss. It's actually an issue I thought about while writing "What Came After", and why they wound up in Rivain. Just considering the very real practicalities of where would they live? We've only seen one example of it in game, with Arianni and Feynriel, and it seemed pretty clear they were looked down on by both societies (not to mention deadbeat dad disavowing him). A human woman and a male elf living together happily? Especially one that is so derisive of both Dalish and Alienage cultures? They'd stick out in both societies, which is the last thing a mage-siding Hawke is going to want to do.

I know. I never, ever want to discourage someone from writing... but, it's so hard to explain that the level of brilliance to pull off a quality rehash is beyond most mortals.

That. Plus this game (as opposed to Assassin's Creed, which, granted, I've only dipped my toe into) is so open for players creating their own stories. We've played the games two, three, eighteen times, why would we want your take?

Not to mention that, let's be honest, the fandom is almost two years old and s/he's coming into it late and expressing no knowledge of what's been done before, as you implied. If all s/he's doing is a straight re-write of the game with no background in the fandom, odds are it's either going to be boring as hell or someone has done it before, either in fic or in their own playthrough.

I've only entertained doing a fic covering the game three times and have yet to execute on any of them: Origins with an f!Cousland with Ser Gilmore as a Companion/Alistair foil (based on the concept of the mod existing); Awakening as if Alistair was Warden-Commander (stemming off my head!canon m!Cousland playthrough); and a kmeme prompt I AM going to write someday, dammit, with the premise that the ogre kills Leandra and both twins survive the flight from Lothering.

[orchidcactus.livejournal.com]

Good thing he breaks up with you in Act II and doesn't come back until after she dies. It makes the arguing about it much shorter. :)

It really shows my character bias (or antibias?) when I lose sight of canon. I'll just stamp an AU on it and call it a day. LOL

They'd stick out in both societies, which is the last thing a mage-siding Hawke is going to want to do.

I don't think I agree with this... but, as that icon you have points out, my canon may be flawed with fanon.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Hawke invite Merril to live with him/her in that romance?

True, I can see the Thedean society being harsher on a female human/male elf relationship than the reverse... but, still, in either situation, Hawke doesn't care.

Another thing that leads me to this is allowing Anders to move in. A known, outspoken apostate? (I don't have his dialogue handy... but it's pretty specific as to what he's asking Hawke to agree to, how the world will perceive it.)

All of these things point to a character, that no matter what the play-through, doesn't give a shit about what society thinks. (I'm not saying it's smart, or anything, just saying.)

Not to mention that, let's be honest, the fandom is almost two years old and s/he's coming into it late and expressing no knowledge of what's been done before, as you implied.

*nodding* That's the crux of it. Knowing the fandom is huge if a person wants to have readership. (If you're just writing for lulz, that's another story.)

Awakening as if Alistair was Warden-Commander (stemming off my head!canon m!Cousland playthrough)


Of the three candidates this is the most interesting to me.

Just off the top of my head, I can't think of anything exactly like that and I enjoyed enough to remember. The closest, I think, is Letters from Amaranthine.



I read that prompt. Selfishly, I want both twins alive because I want a party of all mages. EPIC!!!

[tersa.livejournal.com]

I'm pulling the icon out only because you referenced it. (I had a minute thinking 'wait, which icon?') I actually created it after getting frustrated by another friend in a completely different fandom who tried to tell me in not so many words that my interpretation of a particular character was wrong because it didn't fit her fanon interpretation.

Fortunately, I left that fandom, and I don't talk to her much anymore.

It really shows my character bias (or antibias?) when I lose sight of canon. I'll just stamp an AU on it and call it a day. LOL

*snickers* Fair enough. :)

Just to be clear...I completely understand throwing canon out the window. I mean, I do it often enough. :D I just tend to make sure I'm grounded in the canon before I decide to ignore it, because canon is where the fandom shares its commonality.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Hawke invite Merril to live with him/her in that romance?

Merrill kind of invites herself. :)

But that, and the Anders thing...yes, I agree with you as it is in-game, that Hawke seems to fly in the face of societal norms attaching him or herself romantically either with an elf or an apostate mage. And I think it's allowed in-game because of their status as a noble and later Champion of Kirkwall--much as Meredith mentions later to mage!Hawke that they've overlooked his/her status as an apostate mage for similar reasons.

I may have been unclear, but what I was saying specifically was for post-game, and I mentioned a mage-siding Hawke. In that case, I would think they would not want to draw attention to him or herself, because of the whole wrath of the Chantry thing. (At least, that's why I think they 'vanish into the hills'). Living with an elf in a population center would probably create gossip, gossip that might get back to the templars. And, thinking about it, less so in a same sex relationship I bet than a het.

And given that all of Varric's stories include the LI, it might also be a big red flag the templars are looking for.

So, sure, Hawke may tell society to fuck off about who s/he associates with carnally even after they sneak off into the sunset, but I still think s/he is going to be aware of it creating difficulty in hiding from view.

Of the three candidates this is the most interesting to me.

It would also be the easiest to write, given how much shorter Awakening is compared to Origins and DA2. On the other hand, there seems to be so little interest in Awakening compared to Origins and DA2, that my motivation to write it is significantly lower. :)

I read that prompt. Selfishly, I want both twins alive because I want a party of all mages. EPIC!!!

Hee!!! :)

I was probably going to go the rogue!Hawke route, both because that was what the OP asked for and because rogue is my favorite class--and oddly, I never write rogue!Hawke fic, it's usually warrior or the occasional mage.

I'm just utterly fascinated by how different the story might unfold given the lack of Leandra (how does Gamlen react when his sister's kids show up on his doorstep? What about the will? All that Remains?) and having both Bethany and Carver in Kirkwall and the devil vs. angel aspect the two of the might bring to Hawke's decisions. Not to mention trying to figure out how to handle them with regards to the Deep Roads Expedition. So many options!

[orchidcactus.livejournal.com]

I'm pulling the icon out only because you referenced it

It's a good icon. Kinda fandom in a nutshell. LOL


Just to be clear...I completely understand throwing canon out the window.

Totally understood... I was poking fun at myself for letting my irritation with a character (Leandra) skew my thinking so much it ended up in a story.

("Dammit, I hate her for being mean to my elf! And I must show my hatred off in a fabulous way!" oops. Forgot she's FREAKING DEAD by this point. My bad. )



I may have been unclear, but what I was saying specifically was for post-game, and I mentioned a mage-siding Hawke.

Nah, not unclear, I was just locked into in-game thinking.

Rivain worked for me in your fic... I've had the same thought about where mages (in general) would be the safest as apostates. Subjectively, Tevinter seems to be a fandom favorite, but... eep. No way!


And, thinking about it, less so in a same sex relationship I bet than a het.

Agreed.

On the other hand, there seems to be so little interest in Awakening compared to Origins and DA2

I really have no way of knowing what's getting read, because I open almost everything, and have nothing posted.

Good fic is good fic. It might not get a huge flux of numbers at the outset, but a good story will *keep* getting hits.

rogue is my favorite class

For Origins, I was split mage/rogue. For DA2, I've only played a not-mage one time each, otherwise always play a mage, mostly for the added Fenris and/or Anders angst. (Do you see a pattern here with my thinking? I really *am* that shallow.)


I'm just utterly fascinated by how different the story might unfold given the lack of Leandra

Hmmm... it would be interesting to see how you'd deal with all of that.

Plus, Leandra would be dead. I know one fan who'd cheer. *snerk*

Seriously, if you ever get around to it... I'll definitely give it a whirl. :)